@SureYouDo1: For your anniversary, if your wife asks for something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds...don't get her a bathroom scale. Nope.
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@tastefactory: SOLDIER: Yankee Oscar Uniform Romeo Foxtrot Lima Yankee India Sierra Delta Oscar Whiskey November CAPTAIN: Lima Oscar Lima!
@ShoutingGoddess: My 4 yr old: I wish I was a nurse. Me: You can be one day, if you want. Him: *sadly shaking head* No. I'm going to be a Power Ranger.
@QwertyJones3: [nail salon] Excuse me, do you do filing here? "Yes of course we do!" Great! I need a good refund *hands over tax forms*