@SureYouDo1: For your anniversary, if your wife asks for something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds...don't get her a bathroom scale. Nope.
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@NoogsCorner: After drinking that much, I just hope whatever I bring back home is some sort of human.
@Quartzjixler: We will require you to do something somewhat onerous and time-comsuming and then introduce impediments to completing it. - my employer
@Amburglar_: "Wow! Go show your mommy!" -what I say to any child talking to me for more than 11 seconds.