@fanofhell: For your final meal request to eat the electric chair and then the warden will be like well now what do we do he ate our electric chair
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@sammyrhodes: Olive Garden is appropriately named given that an olive garden is exactly where even Jesus was disappointed.
@Parkerlawyer: My husband let me sleep in late and then made me pancakes. Someone please let Dateline know my death was absolutely premeditated.
@causticbob: When your prospective father-in-law asks:"Why do you ask for my daughters hand in marriage?" Do NOT say:"Because I am tired of using my own"