@godthewoman: Forget plastic surgery. Enhance your beauty by getting those around you drunk
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@TheTalkingPipe: Fish must be excellent drivers. Very rarely do you hear about fish getting into car accidents.
@nerdreign: When I was 16, I thought I could slam and lock my bedroom door in the house my parents paid for. So they took my door. That's 80s parenting.
@UnicornSyrup: Kanye West named his kid North. Drake Bell says he'll name his first kid Taco. I think Jessica Biel should name her kid Batmo.
@dril: the neighborhood teens have left so many burning bags of garbage on my lawn that everyone thinks that this is the place you burn garbage now