@godthewoman: Forget plastic surgery. Enhance your beauty by getting those around you drunk
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@wesjohnson8: Boy at FBI headquarters saw pictures of 10 most wanted men & said, "Why didn't you keep them when you took their picture?"
@Samigrl2: "Do what you love & the money will follow." Ate some pizza, harassed a telemarketer, & took a 6 hr nap in my underwear. And now, I wait...
@tchrquotes: Superman: I got this Batman: I'll help S: Look, you just slow me down B: I'm a detective S: ... B: I have batarangs S: Do you hear yourself?