@godthewoman: Forget plastic surgery. Enhance your beauty by getting those around you drunk
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@U_Want_Shum_M8: I wish I could re-enact the fantasy scenes from 50 shades of grey. Like the one where she gets a job right after college
@bombsydoll: *Buys map of world, pins up on wall *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands *hits wall outlet *has amazing time being electrocuted
@Vice_Queen: Boss: You're late! M: It's 6.30am B: You start at 6am! M: I know but that's just crazy. This is better for me. And now we wait for HR.
@SaveItForFest: Bad day? Listen to 90s rap. Problem solved. Unmotivated? Listen to 90s rap. Problem solved. Don't like rap? Listen to 90s rap Problem solved