@lasergirl70: Forget the fad diets, I'm gonna lose weight the old fashioned way - by not having enough money for food.
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@djdarrellripley: You may be little now, but don't be discouraged. Someday, you'll be a man just like me. *baby starts crying*
@OhNoSheTwitnt: I'm keeping a greater distance behind this truck with a vanity plate that reads "IMTEXAN" than I do behind cars with "Baby on board" signs.
@living_marble: Technically, it's only cannibalism if you eat the top half of the mermaid, your honour.
@MUMSIEesq: Pro Tip: Do not let your kids push that red button in the elevator. The fire department will NOT think its adorable.