@lasergirl70: Forget the fad diets, I'm gonna lose weight the old fashioned way - by not having enough money for food.
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@JKNenagh: Mom: If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too? Me:If all parents used that same metaphor would you use it too? #slapped
@dafloydsta: [at the gym] PERSONAL TRAINER: What kind of body do you want to have? ME: *leans in close* I'd prefer human