@lasergirl70: Forget the fad diets, I'm gonna lose weight the old fashioned way - by not having enough money for food.
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@Tharin_P: The irony of my developing severely crippling stomach cramps minutes after reading a cheesy old love story isn't lost on me. *faints*
@abbycohenwl: I moved to LA with nothing but the shirt on my back. No pants & I couldn't figure out how to get the shirt on my front. Soon I was jailed
@DanMentos: "Ed's Plumbing" Hi I think an engagement ring is stuck in my toilet "ok when did your lady drop-" She didn't "Sir?" I hid it in her dessert
@boring_as_heck: Oh, I can't check my disobedient child with the rest of my luggage? You're saying I have to carry-on my wayward son?