@lasergirl70: Forget the fad diets, I'm gonna lose weight the old fashioned way - by not having enough money for food.
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@JillianKarger: me at 7: I wanna be a marine biologist when I grow up! That or a ninja, prolly both me at 29: I don’t know how to wash dishes without getting my shirt all wet
@Donna_McCoy: Welcome to Passive Aggressive Club. We all got here early, but you just take your time.
@danblackroyd: Little Caesars: It's hot and it's ready. Me: Is it good? Little Caesars: It's HOT. And it's READY.
@TwinSurvivalist: Dr: You're diabetic. Too much sugar and I'll have to amputate your legs. Me: *shoving Cinnabon in mouth* Can I get those cool blade ones?