@lasergirl70: Forget the fad diets, I'm gonna lose weight the old fashioned way - by not having enough money for food.
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@_ElvishPresley_: [Obama giving Trump the White House tour] O: and here's the toaster, it tends to stick so don't be afraid to jam a fork in to get it workin
@DanielKostadino: During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.