@SladeBlue: Forget waterboarding... I'm ready to tell this damn popcorn kernel stuck in my tooth everything it wants to know.
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@thepunningman: [hamster construction site] "Colin, you seen Dave?" I left him manning the concrete mixer "Oh no" [cut to Dave having the time of his life]
@JediGigi: Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: Wow. Nobody's ever asked me that. Interviewer: Take a minute to th- Me: Arendelle.
@Rlpihl: First guy to invent a bread bowl was like "I'm gonna rip the top of this muffin & pour soup in it"
@TheBoydP: "Why put a baseball bat up when you can just lay it down on a stair in the middle of the stairway? What could go wrong?" ~My son apparently