@SladeBlue: Forget waterboarding... I'm ready to tell this damn popcorn kernel stuck in my tooth everything it wants to know.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Mr_Kapowski: My favorite thing about being a parent is lying to my kid Me: The doctor cuts off our tails when we're born 8 y/o daughter: Wife: ZACK!
@juliecursively: HEY, mom of 3 unruly kids staring at her phone in the bookstore: ... Do you have a charger I can use?
@64spoons: Got CPR and CCR confused. Ended up playing "Fortunate Son" on my boombox while watching a man die.