@Jodesaroo: Forget waterboarding, just put a cold hand on my belly and I'll tell you anything you want to know.
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@Sean_Burgundy_: I don't get why some girls don't make airplane noises before putting their tampons in
@PaperWash: Read an article that said Google is making us dumber. whatever, I've always used Google and I'm super [googles synonym for smart] able.
@tarashoe: please sir. i beg of you. don't take away my job. i've got a tuscan kitchen & 2 full baths at home. sir. sir please. my kitchen. it's tuscan
@Breadery: Her: What do you like about me? Me: Your crippling self esteem issues have caused you to lower your standards. Her: What? Me: Your eyes