@mynameshank: Forgets to set alarm, wakes up 3 days later.
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@Henry_3k: You say I'm handsome but you also said your employer cancelled your optical coverage & you haven't had new glasses in 4 years, but thanks.
@Playing_Dad: [@ Sunbeam Bread factory job interview] Boss: Your resume says you are "definitely not 3 ducks in a suit." 3 Ducks In A Suit: That's correct
@KentWGraham: My son got me some very expensive cologne for Father’s Day. I know it was very expensive because he used my credit card.