@funnybeachgirl: "Forgive me father, for I have pinned."
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@RightOJack: My GF spent $49 on a haircut. Had she gone to Petsmart she'd have gotten an ear cleaning, anal gland extraction and a free bandana as well.
@WilliamAder: Putting my Christmas decorations on the house across the street so I can, you know, see them.
@Breadery: There is nothing sadder than waking and turning to see the love of your life's face to find she has deflated in the night.
@thatdutchperson: "No points, illegal kick to the face." "But I'm the hero of this movie." "Fair enough, here's your trophy." -The Karate Kid