@funnybeachgirl: "Forgive me father, for I have pinned."
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@DurtMcHurtt: Her: Stop stalling and sign the divorce papers. Me: *does "the divorce papers" in sign language* THERE I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY
@QwertyJones3: Somebody spotted a coyote in my neighborhood a few days ago. But it's cool, cause I just started carrying an anvil around everywhere I go.
@anjadrisch: My anti bacterial hand wash promises to kill germs & moisturise at the same time. Such violence & nurturing from the one product.