@thejessbess: Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I'm not so sure what I did, but he sent me a text that only said, "K" so it must be pretty bad.
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@electrolemon: yesterday at the mall a woman asked for my opinion between two men's shirts and immediately went to check out with the one i didn't choose
@TeflonPawn: If you're looking for someone to mute the National Geographics channel and narrate the animals thoughts, look no further.