@thejessbess: Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I'm not so sure what I did, but he sent me a text that only said, "K" so it must be pretty bad.
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@onelongbender: When people tell me I'm intimidating, I generally just glare at them until they take it back.
@One_FineMess: I don't understand why New Years Eve is such a big deal. I get drunk and tell myself lies all the time. Who needs a special day for that?
@iGreenMonk: I hate Walmart. The men's bathroom doesn't have any urninals! Just a bunch of women screaming telling me to get out
@Whatevah_Amy: If anyone breaks in, I take comfort in knowing they'll never get past the 20 pairs of shoes in the hallway.