@weinerdog4life: Forgive me father for I have sinned, last week I hissed at 47 people because I like to pretend I'm a mean cat
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bridger_w: At my funeral, I'd like my family, my closest friends, and a high-pitched squeal no one can locate the source of
@squirrel74wkgn: Logic says the screw I dropped should be somewhere by my feet, but science says it's under the couch in the other room.
@Jandalize: Imagine a giraffe. Now imagine the giraffe trying to get on a pool float. Now put my face on the giraffe. That's about right.