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@honeybadgerMel: Forgive me, for I have sinned.
Same time tomorrow?
@YoungFunE: I'm now on year 3 of the '7 day ab challenge'
@NOT_UmaThurman: [Jesus on a blind date]
Christians: "Hmm, you seemed whiter in your profile picture"
@ch000ch: Look at all of these beautiful horse
Horse is already plural
"You're thinking of elk"
*stares off* Holy mooses, you're right
@rickolantern: Just finished the first chapter of this novel. Tons of characters with the same name and really hard to follow.
Sir, that's a phone book.