@Smug_Lemur: Forgot I started my stopwatch. It's now been 139:27.05 since I wondered how long it takes me to run five miles.
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@sfreeze6: [HR office] HR: you know why you're here, right? Me: HR: you can't "contract" Down's Syndrome & you can't call in sick with it
@ValeeGrrl: 7yo: I'M REALLY MAD AT YOU MOMMA SO I'M GOING TO BED EARLY Me: OH NO. NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT
@redthe1: My niece guessed the capital of Montana is Hannah, and I had to give it to her because as far as I know that's correct