@Smug_Lemur: Forgot I started my stopwatch. It's now been 139:27.05 since I wondered how long it takes me to run five miles.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: "Where do babies comes from?" Well, son, when a man and a woman love each other very much they make poor decisions.
@BlackCatBettie: If you have a horse and you didn't name it Edgar Allan Pony, we can't be friends.
@BDGarp: I’m sitting next to a beautiful woman at a bar so now it’s only a matter of time before nothing happens.