@theshamingofjay: Forgot my Fitbit because it was charging and now it's like I walked for no reason.
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@BobWhite1975: 8- Dad, why is there oxygen on earth, but not on any other planet? M- Are you sure you just don't want to know where baby's come from?
@_PerziaN_: Parents that tell u "it's just a little noise" when their kid cries on a train are the same ones who knock on ur door when the music is loud
@realHamOnWry: You can lead a horse to water, but you have to work really, really hard to get him up on water skis.
@LilBlueBlood: Every time I forget to feed my cat, I thank god that I wasn't a teen mom. Because that child would not be OK today.