@SlipCarefully: Forgot my phone and had to write my tweets on paper and pass 'em around at the meeting. nnDidn't get any stars. nGot RT'd to HR.
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@AndyAsAdjective: ME AT 19: I'm gonna travel to so many countries! ME AT 29: I'm gonna try a new craft beer! ME AT 39: I'm gonna try a different cat litter
@WheelTod: Shrimp: My mom's coming to visit Starfish wife: Again?! The 3rd time this year? S:She's lonely Wife: Oh grow a spi... S: Grow a what, Karen?
@behindyourback: Now that he's back, Trump's tweeting again which begs the question, does the Pres of the United States not have an international data plan?