@Brianhopecomedy: Forgot my wallet at home & filled up at the gas station so I have to leave some collateral. Not leaving my phone there so 4 year old it is.
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@PaulGibson1963: The first Hobbit movie was half the book. The second, about a quarter. In the sixth instalment, the group has a 3 hour breakfast and a nap.
@therealeatwood: RUSSELL: I told you that cheese wasn’t for you ME: [bitterly, mousetraps on both hands] Nothing’s ever for me, is it Russell
@Amusitr0n: Imagine the havoc if raccoons could fly. Rotund shadows grow larger over a pizza guy moments before he's swarmed by snarling, handsy demons.