@Brianhopecomedy: Forgot my wallet at home & filled up at the gas station so I have to leave some collateral. Not leaving my phone there so 4 year old it is.
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@Six_Pack_Mom: Me, to kids: "Yes, I'll play, as soon as I finish my coffee." (Genius! We all know parents never get to actually finish a cup of coffee.)
@Qckhd: Gets in shower Washes hair Thinks about a tweet Forgets if washed hair Washes hair Gets out of shower Forgets tweet