@Brianhopecomedy: Forgot my wallet at home & filled up at the gas station so I have to leave some collateral. Not leaving my phone there so 4 year old it is.
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@OuterJohn: 1) Throw a ball of yarn into a fencing battle 2) Wait until the fight is over 3) Retrieve your fully-knitted sweater
@jjhartinger: To the teenager that flipped me off for honking at you. Your phone is on top of your car.
@Laser_Cat: The British are coming! The British are coming! The British have to get up early! The British swear they'll call you in the morning!