@Phook75: Forgot to buy a gift for a friends Wedding. Luckily someone died at an intersection nearby so I scored a cool wooden cross and a teddy bear
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@RudeFunPillow: "WHAT DO WE WANT?" i havent decided yet "WHEN DO WE WANT IT?" i still need a few more mins with the menu you are a really terrible waiter
@theshantilly: How long can one listen to a kid talk before it's officially considered a hostage situation?
@abbycohenwl: Me: Why am I suddenly sick? Friend: Probably the change in the Weather [earlier] Weather: *uncharacteristically puts poison in my coffee*