@Phook75: Forgot to buy a gift for a friends Wedding. Luckily someone died at an intersection nearby so I scored a cool wooden cross and a teddy bear
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Book_Krazy: Me: What were you and daddy just laughing about? 9: You Me: What about me? 9: You won't think its as funny as we do
@thatUPSdude: How is "Shark spotted swimming off the coast" news worthy? Now if a shark was seen walking off the coast that's different.
@1followernodad: I've started replacing "yes" with "sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti."
@sofarrsogud: ME: I'm ok. I'm ok. It's just cramp. GYM INSTRUCTOR: Ok, tie your other lace and lets do this.