@MandiAtRandom: Forgot to do laundry again. I bet everyone at work is going to love my prom dress.
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@PretendMaker: *into earpiece during date* Ok now maintain eye contact No not that kind of contact Bro do not touch her eyes Get your eye away from hers
@WeissBrandon: When I see a couple and the women's pregnant. I always walk up and YELL "why don't you tell him who is really the father." and walk away
@tastefactory: Most people use photoshop to create amazing art or graphic design. I use it to make fake Doritos flavors.
@AndyAsAdjective: I scream "You haven't seen the last of me!" & follow with maniacal laughter before slowly backing away. The pharmacist smiles kindly.