@TommyKarate: Forgot to open the door before applying hand lotion so now I'm stuck in my restroom forever.
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@Ready_Set_Nope: I just overheard my kid muttering "I'm sorry you had to see that" to a stuffed toy. It's probably best not to ask what "that" was right?
@taylortomlinson: I like horror movies because it's the only place insanely hot people are treated poorly
@TheAlexNevil: 6 was jealous about other kids getting notes in their lunches, so I put one in his: "Sorry, I ate your pudding. Love, Dad."