@TommyKarate: Forgot to open the door before applying hand lotion so now I'm stuck in my restroom forever.
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@ValeeGrrl: MY SON: [standing over drawer full of socks] MOMMA I CAN'T FIND ANY SOCKS ALSO MY SON: [sees one grain of pepper on his chicken] EW PEPPER
@CornOnTheGoblin: I like big NUTS n my pecan pie u other bakers cant deny When a treat comes n with a crust too thin & the crumbs get on my chin It gets FLUNG
@13spencer: A man at a cemetery for Titanic victims claims to have taken a photo of a ghost. The ghost reportedly said "there was room for two people."