@Blunder_Woman: Forgot to pack tights so I'm wearing yoga pants with my dress and a long sweater. I look like a crazy cat lady.
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@VerifiedDrunk: Finally nailed my girlfriend and her twin last night You know how I tell them apart? Her brother has a mustache.
@Dani_Feld: A man accidentally made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind. And now, we wait...
@MaraWritesStuff: Carrots are a great thing to eat when you are hungry and want to stay that way.
@Iwriteforcats: You get a fish bite! You get a fish bite! You get a fish bite! You're all getting fish bites! - OPiranha