@Blunder_Woman: Forgot to pack tights so I'm wearing yoga pants with my dress and a long sweater. I look like a crazy cat lady.
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@iscoff: [Guy on the Death Star who's really sick of hearing Vader's breathing but is too scared to say anything]: I'm going to put on some music
@BadMikeyBad: Remember when mowhawks meant you were a tough punk rocker? Now they just mean that you're 3 and your parents are idiots.
@cbdoubleu: "Are you seeing anyone?" Me: lately I've been seeing this squiggly floaty thing on my peripheral vision. Floaty thing: We're just friends.
@MehrangizC: That awkward moment when both your knees are bruised, but all you did was gardening..