@Smiilze: Forgot to turn on the oven. Food's been in there for 45mins. I know, cause I set the timer.
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@david8hughes: [throws a dart at map of the world] One day, I'm gonna go over there & pull that dart out. The next time I wanna play darts, probably.
@davedittell: prayers by believers to a "Sweet Jesus" imply additional deities: Sour Jesus, Salty Jesus, Umami Jesus and, most frighteningly, Bitter Jesus
@Try2StopME: Most people in horror movies would still be alive, if only those idiots had listened to the audience.