@Smiilze: Forgot to turn on the oven. Food's been in there for 45mins. I know, cause I set the timer.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ericsshadow: [phone rings in 1984] "Eric get the phone" Hello? "Tell em I'm not home." She's not home. "Ask who it is." My mom wants to know who this is.
@ReeseButCallMeV: I wonder if black ants and red ants have beef. I never see them chilling together. Ever.
@PhilJamesson: A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly. [I scramble to take off my full-body fly costume]