@Smiilze: Forgot to turn on the oven. Food's been in there for 45mins. I know, cause I set the timer.
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@AmishPornStar1: Just refilled my Smartwater water bottle with regular dumb water... So far, nobody can tell the difference.
@lm_GrumpyCat: I'm not saying I hate you, I'm just saying that if you got hit by a bus, I would be driving that bus.
@SouthernStylin1: Either that loud scream was a patient yelling for help or Fred pulled the string on the bird's tail for quitting time- Why my cw hates me