@good_fats: forrest gump (1994): this film gave me very unrealistic expectations of what my life would be like as a huge idiot. 2/10
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@postcrunk: is the ultimate american drug watching an entire season of a tv show at once or getting married so you don't have to die alone?
@PimpBillClinton: Last night I finally slept with a woman who has a Coke bottle figure. Unfortunately, she was a 3 liter.
@fridaycandy: Apparently If ur BF says "if anything happens to me,I want u to meet someone new...." "anything" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic.
@ch000ch: *crumples a hamburger next to the phone* sorry, i'm having trouble hearing u over this delicious hamburger noise call u later ok