@TEXASVETERAN: Fortune teller said my boss would suffer a deadly accident. But, I already knew that. I needed to know if the police would figure it out.
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@BigBagOfScum: A fun thing to do is comment "that ain't the girl you were with at the bar the other night" on all my married friends Facebook family photos
@Iwriteforcats: MEN: Developed Theory of Relatively. Walked on the Moon. Painted the Mona Lisa. Baffled by bra hooks.
@treydayway: Hell hath no fury like a woman who just said "seriously?" after a comment you made during an argument.
@jake_likes_naps: "Daddy will u tuck me in?:)" "Ok" *tucks him in* "Daddy sing me a song:)" "Ok" *clears throat* LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES H