@NotKarma: Found $10 in a pants pocket. It was awkward though because someone was still wearing it.
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@robyn_vo: It's so annoying when attractive people say they're ugly just to get compliments from people, ugh if I weren't so ugly I'd do the same thing
@SarcasticAlly12: My 5 yo after I explained the concept of breastfeeding: "can you squeeze Capri Suns outta those things or just milk?"
@XplodingUnicorn: I told my 2-year-old to find her shoes She cupped her hands & yelled "Shoes, where are you?" I'd help her, but I want to see if this works
@holyscum: boss: r u flexible this week me: i used 2 be able 2 do a split in 4th grade i mean i could try but idk if there's enough space in ur office