@jobless4eyes: Found a fly on his back by my keyboard. So dead. So sad. Put a cocktail umbrella by his head. Now he looks like he's suntanning.
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@gobmentcheese: The brownies I started making in my Easy Bake Oven in 1987 are ready if you guys want one.
@shariv67: The human body can survive three weeks without food, three days without water but only three hours without wifi.
@LostCatDog: I peed in an ocean, but I'm not going to tell you which one - you're going to have to take your chances.