@zachreinert03: Found an expired condom. Oh well, still ate it anyway. Hope I don't get sick!
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@samalmightysam: The Gym is like Church. Everybody thinks that by going one hour, one day, they'll erase what they did during the week.
@big_mick_carter: Chinese takeaway - £17 Delivery charge - £1 Realising the idiots have forgot one of your containers - Riceless
@StellaGMaddox: My daughter wrote, "I will see you every day of our lives," on my Mother's Day card, so I guess we've resorted to threats now.
@markedly: Spanish: The h is silent English: Many letters can be silent French: All letters are meaningless, every living thing is born without reason