@bad_as_you_want: Found my 16yr old daughters Twitter today, made her deactivate it...after I copied all of her best material to my draft folder of course
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@RealLucasNeff: The ocean isn't shark-infested. It's the ocean. That's where sharks live. We aren't supposed to be there. Humans infest the ocean.
@TheToddWilliams: [Japan] HEAD SCIENTIST: Hey, what did you guys do with all the nuclear waste? *distant Godzilla noises*
@LaytesAgain: If she doesn't scream "YES!" in bed... I don't know. Maybe start asking her different questions?