@GrumpyComments: Found my cat reading To Kill A Mockingbird. I told him that it didn't actually involve killing birds, but he said he liked courtroom dramas.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@NicestHippo: [getting fired from NASA] Is it because I kept saying "Technically we're already in space?"
@onelongbender: This woman at work sounds just like me. I'm going to pay her to call my Mom and occasionally say mmhmm and how nice.
@brendohare: Well I'm not really sure why you put "Baby: Ages 0-6" on your resume, but more importantly, why were you a baby for so long