@GrumpyComments: Found my cat reading To Kill A Mockingbird. I told him that it didn't actually involve killing birds, but he said he liked courtroom dramas.
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@GrantTanaka: I keep a knife in my Bible so if someone wants to kill me, I ask to read it & when I get to the 6th Commandment, I stab them in the face.
@RandomAntics: He who fights with lobsters must take care not to become a lobster. For when you gaze long into the bisque, the bisque also gazes into you.
@chickenmclovin: Twilight drinking game rules: 1) drink 40 shots when you press play so you can die before the movie starts.