@jus4golf: Found my first gray pubic hair. The people in line with me at the market were not nearly as impressed as I was.
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@Jake_Vig: No, no, no, you don't have to engage in a long explanation of why you're single. We've spent five minutes together, I think I've got it.
@E_lok44: Me: What kind of stupid phone you got there? Him: Windows phone Me: Oh [takes it and lobs it out the window] Yes it is
@daemonic3: [at zoo] Kids, here we have reptiles. Reptiles are cold-blooded. This means they rely on external heat and often answer texts with just a K.
@rhysjamesy: Hey to all the girls with more than one person in their picture you're making this VERY DIFFICULT.