@Douchekevin: Four 6 year old girls playing quietly at 7am is called a horde of elephants having a foot race.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ddsmidt: X-rays are dangerous, they were probably less harmful when they were just rays, but after the breakup...
@DirtMcTurd: [texting drug dealer] "You around? I was gonna stop by." Yeah what are u looking for? "I stopped doing drugs, I just miss you"
@LuvPug: I get out of awkward conversations by pulling a balloon out, making a dog and just say I need to take it for a walk.