@JennyJohnsonHi5: "FOUR MORE YEARS!!! FOUR MORE YEARS!!!..." - Honey Boo Boo's teachers her senior year of high school
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@ojedge: [1st date] [to self] Don't let her know ur a boa constrictor Her: "How's your meal?" [i've dislocated my jaw & swallowed the whole table]
@weinerdog4life: Maybe the Titanic sank because there were too many cats onboard, you don't know.
@JimmerThatisAll: It's raining men because the aliens are returning the abductees in the most compelling way possible.