@tweetcomedian: Fox News knows we can google stuff, right?
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@stockejock: Just told my kid her freckles are kisses from angels and she said freckles are actually clusters of concentrated melanin. THANKS NICK JR. :(
@Bobinhiding: Sext I just received from my wife- "Wake up! You're snoring so loud on the couch, you may as well come to bed."
@Jake_Vig: I wish people would move over a bit in their selfies. We're redecorating a bathroom and looking for ideas.