@FilthyRichmond: Fox News reports that President Obama rapped his oath in Arabic while cutting the head off a goat.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: I've been clicking "remind me later" on this work software update for 2 years when is he going to get the hint that I'm not interested?
@HallpassCanada: Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you're standing outside watching your house burn.
@brennadine: OUCH I HAVE A FOOT CRAMP You're dehydrated [Walks on toes] Drink some water [Crawls on knees] Drink water [Lays on floor] Water- [Dies]