@FilthyRichmond: Fox News reports that President Obama rapped his oath in Arabic while cutting the head off a goat.
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@CakeThrottle: Garfield creator breaks silence to give impassioned speech. "It's pronounced Jarfield" he says through tears
@WhaJoTalkinBout: If there is an opportunity for me to put my pants on backwards in the dark, I take it every time. Apparently.
@BillArrundale: Tell a woman she has cute kids and she's all proud. Whisper it to her and she calls the cops.