@RexHuppke: Fox News: Witnesses are telling us Michael Brown may have charged Officer Darren Wilson atop a dragon, wielding a poison-tipped broadsword
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@weenbeans: I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am.
@MartaEffing: [Puzzle Group Therapy] Crossword: Just once, someone use a pen! Sudoku: Nobody likes math. Jigsaw: ..Then they glued me together! *sobs*
@mkpaulsen: I asked my friend if he wanted a drink and he said to surprise him so I brought back a side salad.