@keyboredest: Frankly auto correct, I'm getting really tired of your shirt.
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@SCbchbum: Officer pulled me over & asked if I knew what the speed limit was, like I'm getting paid to tell him his job.
@shatterpants: I think that whenever you become a parent, doctors should just prescribe whatever pills you want.
@kelkulus: Apple has solved laptop theft by making them obsolete by the time thieves get out the door.
@Glynner85: I hate when The Little Mermaid is all "who cares no big deal I want more!" Like, you already have 20 thingamabobs you aquatic scumbag relax