@JennyJohnsonHi5: Freak parents out on Facebook by posting, "Just read a health article about how a camera flash causes diabetes in kids under the age of 10."
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@thatUPSdude: Oh Subway You got busted lying about how big it is, no worries we've been doing that for years. Sincerely; Guys
@H0TMessBarbie: I've finally reached the age where I can't function without my glasses...especially if they're empty.
@KrazykurtKurt: ME: "I don't want sex tonight" GIRLFRIEND: "ok" Reverse phycology doesn't work on women.