@JennyJohnsonHi5: Freak parents out on Facebook by posting, "Just read a health article about how a camera flash causes diabetes in kids under the age of 10."
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@Reverend_Scott: WIFE: this year, can you put the santa presents out for the kids christmas morning? GUY WHO NEVER FOUND OUT SANTA CLAUS ISN'T REAL: what
@pattymo: AMERICAN SNIPER is, without a doubt, the most violent entry in the AMERICAN PIE series
@The_CamGirl: ME: I love the D HER:Why? ME:I love to lick them first HER:... ME:Then I love to swallow them HER:... ME:I love D Dunkin' Donuts Interview
@QueefTornado: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.