@Breadery: Freaking out people walking round the cemetery dressed as a Ghostbuster.
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@CanadianCyn: Today is my 18th wedding anniversary. If my husband doesn't give me a divorce as a gift I'm telling his girlfriend.
@Sickayduh: The mall crowd parts as I shuffle through after waking up naked on the food court floor. "Too pudgy to be a terminator" says one woman.
@flashember: Dog (curled up, napping): I never poop on the carpet and I love cats. Wife: Is the dog talking in its sleep? "Shhh let sleeping dogs lie."