@KenJennings: FREE $1,000,000,000 IDEA: a Tumblr-type platform for list-making called Schindlr
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@Jennifergr8: Women dressed head to toe in animal print just bumped into me, thought I was being attacked my an obese leopard.
@TrolleyCat: I want a "refrigerataur." Half horse, half refrigerator. I could ride it AND eat from it which is just plain sensible we are in a recession.
@tastefactory: BLIND DATE TIP FOR WOMEN: Throw a fork into the wall behind ur date so he has to turn around, to make sure he doesn't have a hidden ponytail