@GrapeSodaJamb: free space program idea: when you bring a spaceship back to earth land it on a huge seesaw and launch another ship off the other side
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@alextranquada: A black shape emerges from your attic; all you can see are claws. You’ve made $4000 in 30 minutes working from home, but at what cost?
@BritXNic: "Alcohol doesn't affect me" *Wakes up with cornrows, a light saber and two taxidermy lizards*
@BetteMidler: Congratulations to Janet Jackson for having a baby at age 50! When I was 50, I wasn’t even strong enough to push a child out of my way.