@Sassafrantz: Friday always feels like Wile E. Coyote running off the cliff and Monday is when he looks down.
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@flashember: [Excavation for dino bones] DIGGER: Sir, we found something BIG! DOG PALEONTOLOGIST: *tail wags* Ok go for break [salivating] I'll finish up
@Phook75: I'm 89% certain I'm technically still dating at least 3 women from the late 90's early 2000's cause I left for beer and never came back
@HockeyTornado: I keep a second pair of shoes at work, I don't want people to recognize me when I'm pooping.
@OLDIRTYDIAPER: Ordinary things that become AMAZING once you're a parent: -showers -sitting down to eat -drinking coffee while it's hot -pooping