@TheTweetOfGod: Friday, Friday, all gonna die next Friday. Everybody's gettin' ready for the world's end. Gotta make My mind up: Which souls should I take?
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@NurseMurderer: My favorite part of eating alone at this trendy restaurant was when the waitress asked if I had cats because I had cat hair, "all over."
@That_Matt2: You will feel dumb when we find out the guy who headshotted Harambe was from the future trying to prevent Planet of the Apes..
@kelkulus: My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 spacecraft computer. They went to the moon. I throw birds at pig houses.
@mikejanson2: 5: Daddy whatcha doin'? Me: Cleaning my shot gun 5:Why? Me: Because one day a boy will like you 5:You mean like Ben? *racks the chamber*