@OutOnTheMoors: Friend celebrated her birthday today by falling off an elephant in Thailand, if you thought I'm the weird one in my circle.
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@thatUPSdude: If you're buying your pregnancy test at the dollar store it's probably because he bought is his condoms there too.
@saucy_peaches: My mom always said that I'd never find a man dumb enough to marry me. Well, I showed her...