@OutOnTheMoors: Friend celebrated her birthday today by falling off an elephant in Thailand, if you thought I'm the weird one in my circle.
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@MAngelo505: My doctor says I should lose 10 lbs and work out more. But why? Spanx launched a men's line.
@Scigglez: Using the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," only shows that you're unoriginal and know nothing about spinal cord injuries.
@TheAliciaKraft: STEVE: you misspelled my name ME: Oh uh it's a joke LATER, TO STOVE: I'll make you another cake when he leaves
@InternetHippo: If all millennials suddenly died the next day’s article would be “How millennials are driving up funeral costs”