@OutOnTheMoors: Friend celebrated her birthday today by falling off an elephant in Thailand, if you thought I'm the weird one in my circle.
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@Parkerlawyer: My internet has been out for 24 hours and now my kids are moving out. That was easy.
@ItsAndyRyan: In Heaven Me: I can't believe how much stuff the Bible got wrong Gid: You idiots couldn't even get my Giddamn name right
@TomTheWicked: Daughter: why does that guy with the whistle keep interrupting the football game? Me: because mommy isn't there to do it.