@Maxine12333: Friend gave me a 'stress' ball to squeeze when I'm tense. Did what I always do when nervous, I ate it.
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@snmrrw: Rasputin never died that day, as an immortal being. He hid for decades, before dropping the "Ras" and slipping back into Russian politics.
@TheBoydP: Someone said I was racist because I misspelled pico de gallo. It’s like they don’t even know I misspell English words also…
@SirEviscerate: There are no atheists in parking lots where you've dropped your phone face down on the asphalt.
@SortaBad: Manny Pacquiao says he would accept a rematch with Floyd Mayweather. "Yes, I will allow you to pay me another $100 million," he told sources