@Maxine12333: Friend gave me a 'stress' ball to squeeze when I'm tense. Did what I always do when nervous, I ate it.
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@tamytoo2: Actual text from 17 y/o son: kin u com bi nd swoop me? I hope he means hit him with my car, because that's the plan
@imadepoopstoday: [job interview] "We feel that you just aren't quite mature enough for the position." It's the Velcro shoes, isn't it. "...yes."