@CruisinSoozan: When the cashier at PetSmart asked me for my phone number I said it loud enough for the hot guy behind me in line to hear.
I might have repeated it.
@TheCatWhisprer: WIFE: so what do you want for christmas?
ME: [thinking about a bed made out of lasagna and instead of kicking off the sheets at night i eat a layer of noodles] oh probably some tools
@GrillinChillin9: Word of the Day: No
Please use it in a sentence: No.
@badbanana: No thanks, Trix cereal. I have enough drama in my life without a rabbit trying to steal my breakfast.
@AmericanGent69: Me: I'm nervous for my date.
Friend: Just exaggerate to impress her
{during date}
Her: What's something you're proud of?
Me: I invented milk
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