@callingCQ: Friend: "I grilled some chickens over the weekend."
Me: "Did you get the information that you were looking for?"
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@vikkaroni: If you wondered if I was on the naughty list this year, I should probably tell you that the best gift I got was a packing peanut.
@CulturedRuffian: INCORRECT PUNCTUATION STARTS FIGHTS: Happy April Fools!!! VS. Happy April, Fools!!!
@THEDUTHCHESS: Logged into FB told Gemma her wedding pics are beautiful. Logged into Twitter to tell you she looked like a fat man in drag and I hate her.
@Reverend_Scott: We need a ride home. "I called a Gruber" Don't you mean an Uber? [villain from 1988 Die Hard arrives in black Prius]
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