@funnyortruth: Friend : "I wasn't that drunk!" Me : "Dude a thief stole your T.V and you ran after him screaming "YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!!!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Mikecanrant: The baby in the car next to me is either unable to control his arms or hes throwing me gang signs. Im not taking any chances. *locks doors*
@Matt_The_Fist: I like to walk through the mall and hand out bags of Cheetos to all the kids I see wearing white clothes
@SatansTongue: (Macbeth and lady Macbeth) "I killed King Duncan" Macbeth wtf!! "You told me to!!" I didn't think you'd do it omg lmao savage