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@KateWhineHall: Friend: You know that country song that goes-
@PoguePhilosophy: I just bought some land with a stranger and now we have a lot in common.
@JohnLyonTweets: Apparently a guy named George Martin leaked all the main plot points of the next season of Game of Thrones in some books he published. Jerk.
@stockejock: Misery loves company,
and apparently that's why my parents invite me over every Thanksgiving weekend.
@ChipKellysBalls: Find a penny
Pick it up
& all the day
You'll have significantly raised chances of contracting a bacterial infection ...
@MartaEffing: I know you've been here. I can smell you, still taste you on my lips. I crave more, but it's over now. Also, you're a donut. And I ate you.