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@KateWhineHall: Friend: You know that country song that goes-
@djdarrellripley: Her: Do you still keep in touch with your ex-wife?
Me: Only by "automatic withdrawal."
@PhilJamesson: A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly.
[I scramble to take off my full-body fly costume]
@WigCannon: "Can I see your ID?"
*lowers them again*
"What are you doing?"
I don't know.
@thenatewolf: *she hears me singing in the shower*
Her: oh he's so cute
*she hears a guitar amp click on and feedback ring out*
Her: NATE NOOOOOOOOOOOO
@_LittleMsBossy_: Apparently saying 'exist over there' while pointing is not the best way to greet people in the mornings.