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@radtoria: Friend: You'll find love again.
Me: STOP THREATENING ME
@envydatropic: I'm no auto mechanic but I'm pretty good at letting people who drive behind me know whether or not they need new brakes
@Probgoblin: The barista can't deal with the man's 'Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee' shirt.
Her mouth opens, then closes.
The line grows.
@Mike_Bianchi: Gurl are you Quantum Mechanics 'cause you got 10 different interpretations of everything, none of which fully corresponds with reality.
@jjhartinger: Co-Worker: You say apparently a lot.
Me: Yes, I know.
CW: It really bothers me.
M: Apparently so.
CW: You don't care.
M: Apparently not.
@Area51eh: This no more tears shampoo sucks. I've been feeding it to my friends kid and he's still crying. nnnnMust be doing something wrong.