@Bratch_Patch: "Friends are a dime a dozen." *pulls out a sack full of dimes* "Sweet, I'll take 32 dozen friends please."
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@CakeThrottle: I ordered my latte wrong at that new gypsy coffee place and now my shadow is a horse shadow
@batkaren: Accidentally ran the wash with Ecstasy still in a back pocket. Now my jeans are freaking out, and the zipper won't stop grinding its teeth.
@MaraWritesStuff: Twilight is the literary World War I: you thought this was as bad as it could get, but then WWII/Fifty Shades happened.