@jwoodham: "Friends" ended 10 years ago today, but thanks to television, "me having friends" ended long before that.
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@OBiiieeee: I almost hit a deer tonight. But then he took back what he said about my mom and we hugged it out. Back to having zero haters, feels good.
@LeBearGirdle: *trying to ask a girl on a date* Me: hi, um [nervously wets lips] would you wanna go out sometime? Her: was- was that a mop?
@TheBoydP: It's hard for me to believe that the new Star Wars trailer has already been seen millions of times. How do they even know where it's parked?