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@TheRolo: Friends: Let's roll a fatty
Me: I have a name guys and pls don't
@jonnysun: INTERVIEWER: thank u, those are all my questions. do u hav any questions for us
ME: yes…why do i want this job
INTERVIEWER: [starts sweatig]
@BriarSlyMalice: HIM: My new girlfriend's name is "Bella". That means "Beautiful" in Italian.
ME: It also means "War" in Latin...so good luck with that.
@MEQ_777: I need a bad ass dress for Friday night. Anybody know where I can find a Forever 41?
@SortaBad: I've been informed by TSA that my man-bun is not allowed on the plane. They fear a riot from horny women clamoring to sit next to me
@PsychoCesc: The awkward moment when someone's zipper is down & you don't know whether to tell, because you can't explain why you were looking that low.