@itsa_talia: friendship on fleek
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@iwearpajamas: My girlfriend talks to her dog like it's going to talk back. Kind of like when Christians talk to God.
@greenteam15: My browser asks "are you sure?" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history
@QwertyJones3: ME: Ed is coming over WIFE: Ed who always talks about marathons or Ed who just blurts out country names? ED: Iran ME: I'm not sure